What's up, what's up!

Alright, so I was really trying to avoid having to deal with this again, but I've been running out of time and I believe being proactive is probably better than being reactive in this scenario. The short of it is that I am once again delaying an update. Have I been lazy and using mental health as an excuse again? Well, yes and no. The script and some renders for the update are done. I could've theoretically powered through and done everything in time if I went with the initial script I had written, but that's not something I want to do now. That's everything you need to know if you wanted to know about the game, the latter part of this devlog will be about the "why" of it all.

If you've been following what I write on DISCORD you may know that I had a trip earlier this month to my cousin's wedding. My spiral started in this trip. I will not go into details, but it's basically family and other private issues that devolved into me losing the streak of motivation and confidence I had for these past couple months (it was going so well too). This didn't stop me from working on the game however. I didn't have a complete shutdown like before, it was more of a slow burn. The script I wrote was finished relatively on time, but it was a mess. The thing that was motivating me was anger and vengeance. I was writing with a "I'll show them" attitude trying so hard to get stuff done that I just didn't care I guess? It's hard to put into words because I don't quite understand it myself, but it definitely looked wrong, to me at least. Regardless, I noticed this not that long ago and was trying to fix it, which only lead to me deciding on scrapping it all and starting over. I am in the process of that right now, but there's no way I'll get it done in time, so in order to still kinda keep it in line with my schedule (if I could call it that) I decided to release the update in full on the 1st of September. I originally intended this update to be a two-parter like the last one, but with the lenience I gave myself I'll manage to do it in one go in exchange of y'all waiting longer. I apologize (again) for being so bad at my job, but I am trying to only show the best I can offer and releasing something I am 100% not happy with is not something I want for this game. There will always be things that I want to go back on in retrospective, that's a given, but if it's majorly not okay from my POV then I'd rather have it not be a part of the game at all. That said, I didn't erase the old script yet, so I might give it out as part of an "unreleased content" thing later, but for now it will stay hidden.

Unrelated, but kinda related: I've mostly resolved the issues I had that made me derail again, so that's good and I really hope it'll stay that way. I've also started going to the gym and dieting this week, so maybe that will also help me put myself back together and forge myself a more healthy and "normal" lifestyle that prevents me from being so emotionally volatile. I am usually not the first person to believe all this boloney, but it's not like I've tried it yet, so I'll stick to wishful thinking and see where this leads me.

As usual, thank you for reading my ramblings despite this being a platform made to post games, not excuses to why there's no games and I'll see you on the 1st with an update I am hopefully stoked about.